


Adam and Fergus

by BigFootAteMyAss



Category: The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, So True, but it’s not like an active thought, domestic life, mentions of past transphobic views, minor Transphobia, non binary fergus, showering together, they/them fergus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29496984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigFootAteMyAss/pseuds/BigFootAteMyAss
Summary: Fergus has been acting a little strange. Adam can’t figure out why.Coming out to your boyfriend is never an easy task.
Relationships: Adam Kenyon/Fergus Williams
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Adam and Fergus

Adam knew that something was off. He wasn’t exactly sure what had caused it, or whether it was his fault, but he noticed the change in Fergus’ behaviour nonetheless.

He had watched Fergus for so long over the past 4 years that Adam believed he would be able to notice a single hair out of place from five miles away, and this sudden change was to Adam as if Fergus had randomly started wearing a fully tricked out clown suit, unicycle and all, and started saying yippie ki-yay every five minutes. 

He had tried time and time again to mentally retrace the last few days in order to understand just what had happened to cause this - all to no avail. 

Everything had been well and good, until about 3 days ago when Fergus begun to seemingly distance themselves from Adam. The enthusiasm they had normally displayed in their interactions were now considerably less enthusiastic and they were not coming to bed until late, despite their early mornings starts (and the knowledge that Adam found it hard to sleep alone) choosing instead to leave Adam tossing and turning into a fitful sleep in favour of whatever it was they were doing on their laptop. 

His attempts at bringing it up in a conversation yielded only a nonchalant “what d’ya mean? There’s nothing wrong at all, Adz.” promptly followed by a change of subject.

No matter how much Fergus would deny it though, Adam remained adamant that there was something going on. 

— 

Adam stretched back and allowed himself to relax into the two seater, his body falling naturally into the curve that he had left behind over the years. His head rolled to rest on the back of the sofa, and his eyes fell shut.

He had been leaning forward to use the coffee table to fill out some paperwork for far longer than would be considered healthy by any means, and his back felt as though scoliosis was minutes away from setting in - It’s exactly why Fergus favours the squat, and it was at times like this that Adam understood why. 

Adam knew that he had a desk of his own that could avoid this situation altogether, however he would much rather sit in the vicinity of Fergus and develop serious and long lasting spinal conditions than sit anywhere near Phil and the annoying interns. 

Thinking of Fergus - Adam rolls his head around to check on them at their desk expecting to find them concentrating on their computer screen, or scribbling something down on a random sheet of paper at the very least.  
Instead, Adam finds Fergus looking over at him already - and although that is something that he would normally consider quite flattering, the way that Fergus has been acting recently, coupled with the look that was currently painted across Fergus’ face, it left Adam feeling only self-conscious - A strange gnawing feeling forming in his stomach that he’d not felt for a while. 

They looked concerned, disgusted even, and as though Adam had just insulted their mother, who was indeed a very lovely lady undeserving of any theoretical insults. 

Their brow was furrowed and eyes squinted, focused on Adam's face. They looked like they were deep in an unpleasant thought, and they worried at their lower lip. Adam felt quite like a deer caught in headlights, and he was now most definitely sure that he was somewhat the cause of this rift between them. 

Think, Adam. Think. What could he have done wrong? His mind began to race at 1000 miles an hour.  
Had he said something wrong to Fergus, and unknowingly offended his partner?  
Fergus would be willing to rip Adam to shreds if it came to it, that much he knows.  
Had Fergus suddenly decided they no longer found Adam attractive? No,no, that can’t be it, he’s sure they wouldn’t think like that -

Adam believes he must have begun to reflect Fergus facial expression, because before he could spiral any further, Fergus’ voice cut in.

“I can see the gears grinding in your head.” They say, Adams eyes moving to finally connect with Fergus’.

“I could’ve said the same about you.” He replies, awkwardly. The conversation felt tense, like they both knew something was wrong.  
They stare at each other for what felt like an eternity, though was likely only a few seconds, before a grin takes over Fergus’ face; head tilting ever so slightly and fondly - subsequently breaking the tension in the room.

It causes the knot in Adam's stomach to loosen ever so slightly, but the uneasiness still kept its grips on the man. 

“Touché, my friend, touché,” Fergus replies, their eyes darting to the clock, before coming back to Adam. “It’s almost 6, you wanna call it an early day?” 

Adam smirks, “that’s not very ministerial of you,” he teases, falsely taking the moral high ground before continuing, “But fuck, Yes please. It’s probably best we get out while we still can, really, cause there’s no way I’m staying late tonight. I’m bloody exhausted.” He runs his hand over his face as he talks and rubs at his eyes, as if trying to prove his tiredness. 

“Good! Right...well. Let’s go then, shall we?” Fergus says, more than asks and pushes off from their desk to stand. 

Adam mutters a quick “yep” and hauls himself up with a grunt to join Fergus in preparing to leave, putting his work into his bag and checking over his things. 

With not much else to do, he watches as Fergus clears some stacks of paper by moving them into the large cupboard next to their desk, and Adam can’t help but ask what he desperately wants to know. 

“What were you thinking about? Like, before?” 

Fergus stills for a moment, hands on both of the doors, and looks to the floor.  
“Um. Nothing. Nothing that I can remember” they say, unconvincingly. 

The knot in Adam's stomach unwillingly tightens again. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. 

Fergus recovers quickly and moves on, taking a mental note to ‘Stop acting weird’, before heading to the coat rack to put on their jacket and scarf. Meanwhile Adam sighs at yet another failed attempt.

—

Once they had returned home, things went as close to normal as they had been since this whole fiasco began. 

It was a Friday evening, so their discussion on what takeaway they would be ordering had begun before they even got through the door to their flat. They quickly and easily settled on their local Indian takeaway that they both loved so much. 

Fergus set to work on ordering their usual, and Adam went for his shower. 

He hadn’t been in for long when a knock came at the door.  
“Yep!” He called out, granting Fergus permission to enter. 

Fergus came in, “Foods not gonna be here for an hour.” They said, heading for the toilet. 

Adam wipes the condensation from the glass to look at Fergus, “They always end up coming earlier than they say they will -” Adam starts before Fergus interjects with,  
“That’s what she said!” followed by a laugh: The genuine joy at being given a natural set up for their favourite joke completely taking over. 

“You’re an absolute twat,” Adam says rather fondly, earning a smug look from Fergus. “You coming in?” 

“Mhm, one moment.” Fergus finishes up their piss before stripping out of their suit, letting it drop to the floor.  
(It’s the end of the week, they couldn’t care less about keeping it tidy anymore.)

The shower itself wasn’t the most spacious of boxes, but they didn’t really need space.  
Adam did, however, move over anyway; the cold air radiating from the tiles on the wall, tickling his back as he made room for Fergus; giving them priority over the shower head, considering he was already soaked. 

Fergus quickly washed their hands in the shower before they ducked their head under the water, causing it to fall down their face, and their eyes to snap shut. Adam paused to admire Fergus as they did so. 

He watched the water trickle down their shoulders, running over and weaving through the freckles and moles that littered their back. They looked relaxed, and completely comfortable in Adam's presence. 

It wasn’t something that Adam was sure would remain true, what with the way that Fergus had been acting recently, but the relief filled the man at the sight of his favourite person standing there naked before him.

Fergus removed their head out from under the stream and gave it a quick shake, hands moving up to wipe the water from their eyes.  
Adam quickly grabbed the flannel and wrung it out before handing it to Fergus, who took it gladly.  
“Oh, thanks love.” They said absentmindedly, wiping their eyes with the cloth.

“No problem at all,” Adam replied, a huge smile appearing on his face, completely overjoyed at hearing his favourite nickname, and especially one that he hadn’t heard in a while.

Fergus finished using the flannel before looking up to see the smile on Adams face, the happiness radiating from their boyfriend and spreading instantly over to them too.

They grinned at each other for a moment in their domestic bliss, the water crashing to the floor around them, sound amplified by the glass room, eyes inevitably darting to each other’s lips. 

Unable to resist, Fergus bought their hand up to cup the back of Adams neck, softly stroking at the short hairs at the base  
“You’re so beautiful” they whispered, before slowly pulling the man forward; Adam willingly letting himself go, his heart swelling at the compliment. Maybe he had begun to doubt his looks after all. 

Their lips met so naturally like they had done many times before, in a relaxed, leisurely kiss.  
Adams' hands came up to grab Fergus’ bare waist, and as the kiss continued, he rhythmically squeezed and pinched his fingers into the soft flesh below, earning contented hums from Fergus against his lips.

Admittedly, they both got lost in the kiss and neither knew just how much time had passed.  
Before long though, Fergus was pushed up against the glass of the shower with both hands holding on to Adams face. Adams' hands had slid their way downwards to grip Fergus’ ass, and their mouths were moving in desperation for more. 

They were both half hard, their lips red and swollen, bodies pressed against each other and warm. Yet, ever the one with common sense, Adam forced himself to pull away, if only by an inch, their foreheads pressing together.

“Hmm, c’mon we can’t do this now. Food’ll be here anytime soon,” he said reluctantly, admiring his effects on Fergus through his own half-lidded eyes. He never really wanted to stop kissing them. 

Fergus chased the man's lips, enjoying themselves too much to want to stop, groaning out “5 more minutes”, before planting another readily received open-mouthed kiss on the others once more. 

In their effort to continue, their lips moved to Adams cheek, planting a wet kiss there - and then they moved to his jaw, focusing more attention there, kissing, licking and sucking at his neck in the way that they knew he loved. 

Adam tilted his head back instinctively to make his neck more accessible, and it would be a lie if he said it didn’t make his stomach flutter (and his dick twitch), however, he also knew exactly what Fergus was trying to do; and he couldn’t let them succeed. 

Adams hand fumbled against the wall, searching in retaliation. Fergus thankfully remained occupied now they had worked down to Adams collarbone, allowing for Adam to unleash his successful surprise attack.  
He found and twisted the temperature to cold, with it taking effect almost immediately, then he pulled Fergus further under the water stream, earning a surprised yelp as they tried to escape.

“Ah, you fucking bastard!” They almost screamed, voice going impossibly high - detaching themselves from Adam and moving as far away from the water as possible. “Turn it back!” They demanded.  
Adam laughed as he put on a brave face from the cold, but changed the temperature back anyway.

“That’s one way of doing it, eh?” Adam asks rather smugly, earning an evil glare and a fake-disappointed head shake from Fergus.  
“It worked, didn’t it?” He points out. 

“Yeah, I s’pose” Fergus mutters in defeat, moving back under the now warm again water, a small smile appearing on their face now that the surprise has subsided.  
They reached for their shampoo, a fancy vanilla scented one,  
“You’re still a bastard though” they told Adam. 

“Yeah, that’s fair” they agreed, kissing Fergus once more for good measure, before joining them again in completing their shower; casual conversation commencing between them as they did so, with them moving seamlessly around each other’s shower routine. 

-

Dinner arrived shortly after they had finished with their shower, and Fergus is mentally glad that Adam stopped them when they did; They definitely wouldn’t have had time to finish, and getting in their locals bad books is the last thing they’d want. 

They ate their dinner together in front of the tv, managing to get through a few episodes of their current favourite tv show as they did so. 

It was now quite late, and they were both tired after a long week (and a large dinner), so there wasn’t much that they wanted to do this evening.

Plates are cleared to the kitchen to be washed sometime later, and Adam switches on his video game; joining a chat with a few of his mates soon after. 

Fergus grabs their laptop and moves to sit at the dining table in the corner of their living room, as expected.  
They had been using their laptop a lot more than they would usually, and this is because they had fallen deep into some research. 

They had known for as long as they could remember that they were attracted to men, and they were completely comfortable with calling themself gay. A new realisation however, was that they weren’t a man. 

Fergus hadn’t really paid much attention to gender before. They had heard of trans people, of course, they had just never thought about what gender meant in relation to them. 

The internet had been a great source of information to them upon their realisation that they were non-binary, and even helped them along the way of finding and coming to terms with their identity. The internet however, was also a good source for finding the articles that Adam had written during his time with the daily mail. 

Fergus wanted to check to see if Adam had written anything revolving around transgender people before bringing anything up in conversation with their boyfriend. They weren’t exactly sure what they were expecting to find, but they were definitely disappointed with the results. 

There were multiple articles, signed by Adam Kenyon, littered with rather transphobic views. 

While re-reading a particularly transphobic article, their eyes wandered to the pyjama clad Adam, sat on their couch, in their flat, happily mid conversation with whoever was on the other end of the chat, voice far louder than it needed to be, and felt sadness at the sight. 

They loved Adam. They were just no longer sure Adam would still love them, if they were to fully accept this part of themselves. 

They knew they had been acting strange since their revelation, and that Adam had picked up on it, but they were just unsure on what to do now. 

They felt angry at themself for letting this get to them - If they had just ignored their discomfort at being called a man, they would never have understood why, and would have just carried on like normal. 

They dropped their head into their hands in annoyance.  
‘Why? Why are they like this?’ They think with a deep frown on their face, and a sadness that writhes in their stomach.

They knew that they had to tell Adam now that they understood; Fergus doesn’t think they would be able to continue being seen as a man for the rest of their life, especially not by the man they want to marry. They didn’t know how to bring it up though, or even if Adam would be willing to learn. 

For now, they just log back into their anonymous Twitter account in order to research and talk about gender with strangers on the internet. 

-

At around 10:30pm, Adam resigns from his game. It was early for a Friday night, he would admit, but he’d not slept well the last few days. 

He stands and stretches, causing his joints to pop as he does so, and then places his controller back on its shelf, before finally turning the tv off.

“You coming to bed, Ferg?” He asks, hopeful. 

Fergus doesn’t look away from their laptop, typing rapidly as they respond.  
“Nah, not just yet. I’ll be in soon though”’

Adam tries to hide his disappointment, although he’s not too sure why, as Fergus wouldn’t even see it. They’re too focused on their damn laptop.  
“Right. Alright, goodnight then?” He says, hovering around the door to the living room.

“Mhm.” Fergus responds half-heartedly, no longer listening to what Adam is saying, as they were too deep in a discussion with another Twitter user.

Adam does a little nod to himself, pretending he’s not hurt at the dismissal, before resigning to heading to bed alone once again. 

It’s not too long later that Fergus manages to find yet another article written by Adam, and this time it’s one that explicitly mentions non-binary people. Fergus reads on in disgust. 

“A passing fad,” he had called it. “A new gender, invented to make teens feel special, that is corrupting the youth” 

Fergus feels an insurmountable wave of anger and disappointment wash over them at the idea of Adam having this published, for people to read and agree with. 

This is Adam - their Adam - that has written this, and now Fergus has ‘become’ who he hates.  
He’s gonna hate them. 

They close their tabs and run their hand through their hair, something they always did when they were stressed, and decide to call it a night. 

They peer down the hallway, to where their bedroom is. 

They decide to sleep on the couch tonight.

-

The couch, unsurprisingly, isn’t as comfortable for sleeping as it is for sitting. 

Fergus had been tossing and turning for what felt like almost an hour, thinking about Adam in the next room. 

Thinking about life, and their future together.

Fergus knows they will never stop loving Adam - the thought of Adam no longer loving them, however, was far too much to bear. 

All those years together, going to waste. Simply because they’ve realised they’re not a man - because they’ve realised what will make them happy. 

That they are exactly what Adam hates. 

Their eyes well up with tears at the thought, and they attempt to focus on regulating their breathing; however their mind keeps jumping back to the idea of Adam disapproving of their identity, which only makes them feel ten times worse.

They fight the tears, but feeling so overwhelmed and tired, they eventually surrender to their sadness. Fergus allows themself to cry it out, trying their best to stay silent; The subtle ache of a headache building in the front of their skull. 

They take a few deep breaths, their body now shaking uncontrollably, and a loud sob escapes - shit.  
Within seconds, 

“Ferg?,”

Fergus puts a blockade on their emotions, looking up to find the figure in the doorway. Adam stands awkwardly, a concerned look on his face, barely visible in the darkness.  
“Are you alright?” He asks sincerely, taking a few slow steps towards Fergus. 

Fergus, not sure what to do anymore and not trusting their own voice, shakes their head ‘no’, bringing their hands to cover their face in embarrassment. 

Adam makes it to the sofa, and squats down next to where Fergus’ head lays, immediately combing his fingers through their hair soothingly.

“I want to help, love,” Adam says, “tell me what’s the matter?” 

The sincereness in Adams' voice triggers another bout of tears to fall from Fergus’ eyes, leaking down their face and leaving their neck feeling wet and itchy. It is most uncomfortable - though the thought that Adam would no longer care once they admit their secret hurts their soul too much to care. 

Fergus shakes their head once more, but sits up on the sofa, moving to instead rest their elbows on their thighs, head still in their hands.

Adam takes a seat next to them, wrapping an arm around their body, hand stroking on their upper arm and shoulder in an attempt to help calm them down. 

He wasn’t sure what to do, as Fergus had never really shut him out to this level. He felt distanced, and it was almost like he was comforting a stranger. 

He couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault, but he still wasn’t sure why it would be. 

“‘m sorry,” Fergus mumbled in a preemptive apology, the sadness woven deeply in their voice.

“What’re you sorry for?” Adam asks, feeling a little worried.  
The thought that Fergus may have been cheating flashes through his mind, and the idea makes his chest hurt, but as far as he knows, Fergus hasn’t cheated, and so they remain his top priority.

They shake their head again, thinking, at a loss for words and unsure where to begin.  
This is happening, and there’s no going back now…

“Did you mean everything you wrote at the Daily Mail?” They blurt out. They cringe at the way their voice sounds, desperate and panicky, tear ridden.

Adam is taken aback, that was not what he had expected in the slightest.

It had been years since he worked at the Daily Mail, and Fergus had hardly ever bought up anything from his time there - it certainly wasn’t where he thought this conversation would be going. 

“What?” He asks in genuine surprise. 

They take a deep breath to stabilise their emotions, knowing they need to be strong for this conversation. 

“At the Daily Mail. Did you mean what you wrote?” They repeat; voice sounding more sure, yet face still wet with tears. They sit up and shuffle away from under Adam's arm, and look the man in the face with a brave, but blotchy, face. 

Adam feels like he’s definitely in trouble now, and quickly goes through his mental catalogue of articles, wondering if he ever unintentionally wrote something about Fergus. His mind draws a blank. 

“Um, well, y’know. I wrote a lot of things. I didn’t always believe them but… you’d have to be more specific” 

That must have been the wrong answer as Fergus sighs and stands up, begins to walk away.  
Adam wants to talk this out, so stands to follow, but he doesn’t get far before Fergus turns around, 

“Don’t. Sit down.” They demand.

Adam does as he is told. 

He felt scared, worried about what this conversation would mean for the two of them, and the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach was back .

Fergus wanted distance for this, though. They didn't believe that Adam would ever hurt them physically; but if he were to get angry, they wanted a clear exit strategy. 

They wipe their face of any remaining dampness, blinking their eyes to normalcy.  
They allow themself a moment to collect their thoughts, pacing a little, leaving Adam stewing in the silence.  
Right. 

“You were transphobic, Adam . Like, a lot.” Fergus finally accuses with a level voice.

“Oh.” Is all Adam responds. 

If he was being honest, he had totally forgotten he even did that. 

“Uh, yeah, ‘oh’.” 

Adam fights the urge to get defensive, to try and excuse his actions and to pass the blame to his job - as to some extent (albeit not all), it’s exactly why he did it - however, he also understands that there is never really a valid excuse to being transphobic. 

He deflates back, disappointed in himself.

“Look, Ferg, I said some really shit stuff back then, about a lot of things, and I am sorry about it. It doesn’t mean I still think like that, though.” 

“But you did, though? Think like that?” They questioned. 

“Well… yeah, I guess. I didn’t know much about it, to be honest, so I didn’t care - but I mean, I was homophobic back then, too, for fucks sake! Look how that’s changed!” He exclaims, crossing his arms. 

Fergus stills, and looks Adam in the eye, contemplating. 

“So you’re not still transphobic?” They ask. 

“No. I’m not.” He says, his short temper showing. Adam doesn’t much like being held against some words he said over 5 years ago. “And, anyway, I fail to see how this is even relevant now, Fergus! It’s not like it even fucking matters to us! Is this why you’ve been acting so fucking weird, too? Because of something I said years ago?” 

The tears form once again, and they avoid eye contact with the man, trying to hold back their tears. 

“It does matter to me, Adam.” They admit, voice low and wobbly, yet laced with anger. 

A tension fills the room and Adams' jaw drops in shock, his own anger replaced by confusion.

“What- What do you mean? that… you’re transgender?”

“Sort of? I think, maybe… yeah. Not like -I’m not a woman - I’m just not a man, either.” They admit, cheeks beginning to burn. 

“Okay,” Adam says calmly, slowly standing up and moving towards Fergus. “Okay.”

Adam opens his arms to Fergus, who readily takes up the offer, wrapping their arms around his middle and burying their face in their neck, and Adam holds them in a warm, tight hug. Fergus starts crying again. 

“I’m sorry,” Adam tells them, voice almost a whisper. “I love you. No matter what, Fergus.” He tells them, tears of his own forming too.  
Adam jerkily pulls back a bit, “-if you still want to be called that?” He asks, concerned, causing Fergus to smile. 

“Yeah, Fergus is still good.” They tell them, “I just don’t like being called ‘he’, or a man. Shit like that. I like ‘they’, and ‘them’” 

Adam says a little “ah,” before moving back to continue their hug.  
“Is this why you’ve been acting weird, though? You were scared to tell me because of my articles?” He asks. 

“You slagged off trans people a lot back then, Adam. I thought you were going to hate me.” 

“God,” he says gruffly, “I hate the idea of you being scared to tell me things like this...” he squeezes Fergus a little harder. “I’m going to have to get on to the daily mail, ask them to delete my articles” 

“Mhmm,” Fergus agrees. 

Adam pulls back from the hug - hands coming up to hold Fergus’ neck, wiping away the tear trails on their face, before giving them a quick, gentle kiss.  
Everything feels back to normal again, something they are both grateful for. 

“So what am I calling you then? Partner? Significant other?” 

Fergus feels a swell of love in their chest, arms still resting on Adams shoulders, a large smile on their face.  
“I quite like ‘partner’.” They tell him. 

Adam puts on a formal voice, “‘this is Fergus, my partner. They would like one J2o please’” he practices jokingly, making Fergus laugh. “Yeah, I quite like that too.” He agrees. 

“Dumbass.” Fergus says with absolutely no conviction.“I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” He tells them happily, a smile on his face. “Can we please go to bed now though?” 

“Yeah, ‘course.” Fergus says, grabbing a hold of Adams hand, pulling him to their bedroom. 

They flop onto the bed together, immediately moving back into a hug - back to chest, Adam taking the role of little spoon. 

It had been a couple of days since Adam had been able to be little spoon, and the feeling of Fergus' strong arm wrapped around him along with their head nestled into the back of his neck, warm breath mixed with the occasional kisses, they felt content once again. 

Fergus was also grateful to no longer be afraid, to know that they can live as themself with Adam still in their arms- with everything as it should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty lads. This was definitely a little ooc but what can you do, right? 
> 
> I don’t write much but I wanted to try. they say to write what you know and all I know is be transgender and repress emotions so here’s what we got. 
> 
> Also with a Lil bit of added self indulgent shower kissing innit.
> 
> Also I know that Adam wouldn’t use they them for Fergus before coming out but I didn’t want to misgender them for half the fic u know  
> Hope someone enjoyed !


End file.
